Hey all, it's 10:45 p.m. and I just took a dose of NyQuil, so I apologize if this post is lacking in coherency. I just wanted to remind the many Black and Flight blog-followers that it is spider season. Yes, I know, frightening. Apparently, we are at the beginning of spider mating season, so males are on the prowl (for an in-depth discussion of this see http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=12255886. It has some good tips on spider-proofing the home). Fortunately, we have little to fear as long as we have a sufficient supply of sticky traps and caulk. By the way, isn't it fitting that spider season is soon followed by Halloween season? Coincidence? I don't think so.
So...just to get you all a little more excited about spider season, I have posted this short video clip. If your sticky traps, caulk, and lousy insect sprays don't work, try catching the little buggers and storing them in a box for a fight to the death later. It really is a win-win situation for everyone. The spiders love it and your kids will too. Even the spider that loses is grateful that they left the world with dignity rather than the alternative. You can imagine for yourself what that alternative is.
9.10.2010
8.31.2010
4.29.2010
Thanks Again Collin
This morning, my wife received an email from a good friend that concluded with the following wonderful farewell: "Best Wishes and Butterfly Kisses." After reading these heartfelt words, the song Butterfly Kisses immediately came into our minds. As usual with most great songs, we assumed it was sung by Collin Raye. After being disappointed to find out that this was not the case, we were delighted when we came across this beautiful video.
I hope you enjoy it as much as we did. The picture montage significantly adds to Collin's already profound message. We both feel that we are better people for watching this, and know you will feel the same.
3.31.2010
Little Kevy
I have started to dabble in Adobe Ilustrator.
I have been following tutorials online and learning little by little.
Here is what I put together this evening.
I took this picture here:
And turned it into this here:
I call it "Little Kevy"
I have been following tutorials online and learning little by little.
Here is what I put together this evening.
I took this picture here:
And turned it into this here:
I call it "Little Kevy"
2.10.2010
Coming out of the Obama Closet
Despite the don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy in this state regarding an individual’s liberal tendencies, I am letting caution slip discreetly under the door as I officially come out of the Obama Closet. The comfort of the Obama Closet appealed to me one Sunday afternoon as I listened to Grandpa Tufnel prophesy of the inevitable destruction of the country we love. “If the people of this Nation vote for Barack HUSSEIN Obama,” Pampa growled, “they shall surely be destroyed!” (Note to the reader: I have bolded and capitalized Obama’s middle name so that you read it louder than the first and last name. If you didn’t read it that way, please go back and do it now.) As I listened to those frightening words, I immediately jumped into the Obama Closet and slammed the door behind me. And there I sat, for a year and a half, worrying that by voting for Barack Obama I had brought down condemnation on the United States of America, my family, and potentially my own soul. I would often hear friends and loved ones curse Obama and his followers, describing them with words such as “Socialist”, “Communist”, “Marxist,” and the most horrifying of all, “Progressive!” These labels drove me deeper and deeper into the Obama Closet. “Of course Obama is trying to destroy our country”, I found myself shouting; “any other idea of his intentions is absurd!” The closet began to wear on me. It all came to a nasty white head after a long day of driving listening to the three-headed Rush, Sean, and Glenn Monster. I decided that I would no longer let my liberal muscles atrophy in the cold dark Obama Closet. And so, it is true Mom, Dad and my beloved Pampa; I go to church and live in the wonderful State of Utah, but I voted for Barack Obama. There, I said it and it feels good. Furthermore, as I officially come out of the Obama Closet today, I would like to declare February 11th “I’m a Utahn and I Voted For Obama Pride Day.” I encourage all Obama Closet dwellers to join me for a Mii Parade tomorrow night at 8:00 p.m. to celebrate. Let us lock the door behind us and turn the Obama Closet into a nice mahogany HOPE chest.
2.07.2010
Most Significant Event of 2009 - Unabridged Version
As we say goodbye to yet another year that has come and gone, it may be appropriate to ask, what were some of the most significant happenings of 2009?
As I began to write a mental list of some of the events that made me say to myself, "who on this good earth has let the dogs out?", one event continued to overpower all other events in my mind. I'm sure you already know what I speak of. It is something that has taken us all by surprise, and has, quite frankly, turned our world upside-down. It has changed everything. Things that once appeared to be the color of magenta, have suddenly taken on a periwinkle hue. Instead of knitting, everyone is croshaying. Instead of everyone eating Top Ramen, it's all about Cup of Noodles.
What has caused these dramatic demographic shifts to occur in our society? It was something tragic. And it happened in 2009. Tuesday, February 10, 2009 will now be a chapter heading in most history textbooks, for that was the horrific day Lee Redmond broke her fingernails! Yes, the exact Lee Redmond you are thinking of. The notorious Guinness Book of World Record- holding the much sought after title of "World's Longest Fingernails." Lee's nails measured a total of more than 28 feet long, with the longest nail on her right thumb at 2 feet, 11 inches, according to the Guinness Web site. And apparently those daggers attached to her fingers made it difficult for her to drive, which in turn, may have lead to the car accident she was in. This ksl.com article http://www.ksl.com/?nid=333&sid=5578344 states that no life threatening injuries were sustained. But that depends on one's definition of "life threatening". Her physical injuries may not have been life threatening, but as those incredibly long, yellow-hued swords fell from her fingers, hitting the pavement and shattering into a million pieces, one can only imagine that her heart shattered as well. Everything she lived for was gone.
This unthinkable tragedy has turned not only Lee's life upside down- it has turned the entire world in an uproar. The world's foundation of strength has been shaken over the fall of this pillar, this example of achieving success in the areas of life that really matter. But we all know as one dynasty falls, another arises. In other words, as Big Bird stumbles, Elmo stands tall. As indoor tether ball looses its popularity, the WNBA gains some traction. In this case, imagine the woman who, at the time of Lee Redmond's car accident, had the world's second longest fingernails. What a bitter-sweet experience this was for this second place settler.
This is what I imagine may have happened to this second place holder the day she learned of Lee Redmond's accident:
It is a brisk February morn', as the world's second longest fingernail holder attempts to somehow, with her unbelievably long nails, use her computer mouse and keyboard to see the latest news on ksl.com, when to her surprise, she stumbles across this article http://www.ksl.com/?nid=333&sid=5578344. She begins reading and finds that the current record holder has just been in a car accident and broken her nails. As her heart fills with the excitement that only a world-record holder can experience, she screams a victory scream, as she waves her hands and dagger-nails about, slashing everything within reach, just like a Wolverine scene out of X-Men.
As the debris of paper, pencils, and random odds and ends around her computer station settles from her nail slashing, she begins to feel a bit of guilt realizing just how happy she is that this individual has been in a car accident. It is a battle of emotions as she tries to wrestle with her feelings of knowing she a world-record holder of such a noble endeavor, but at the same time realizing that a fellow nail-grower is on her death-bed (if not physical, perhaps emotional death bed). To calm herself down, she begins to softly scratch her cat, who is sitting on the other side of the room, her fingernails reach for what seem like miles, to her cats back.
It made her feel a little better, as she starred down at those curiously long, unhuman-like spears attached to her fingers. How many times she had been ridiculed by friend and foe alike. How many times in her youth had her mom had set her down and told her it was not sanitary to have nails that were so long she could not live a socially acceptable life. And it was true, she had sacrificed a lot for her nails. It was a life of ridicule and isolation. She thought back to a time five years ago- it was the time she realized her nails would no longer allow her to use her curling iron, the last of her personal hygiene items that she could manage with her nails. She had given up trying to put on make-up years before that, when she realized the deep, lasting scars from cuts she had made with her nails every time she applied her mascara. And years before that she’d chosen longer nails over the ability to use her toothbrush, Q-tips and other generally overlooked modern conveniences.
Looking back, she realized she had given up so much. She had chosen her nails over having any type of a social life. How many times had she walked down the hall at school, and as she raised her hand to wave at a boy, she ended up slashing him in the juggular. She had chosen her nails over the chance of going to any high-school dance. Later on in life she gave up the possibility of ever being employed by anyone other than the circuses and freak-shows that came through town. She had been laughed at her entire life. But who was laughing now? Who held the noble and much sought out title of "lady fingernails"?... She did! And she was going to let everyone know it! But she knew who she must contact first. It was her bed-ridden predecessor. She knew she must visit her and let her know of the years of admiration, envy, and inspiration that she had given her!
So, as we say farewell to 2009, I feel we all concur that this fingernail frenzy will not soon be forgotten. As a new year and decade begin to tenderly grow, not unlike the new set of Lee Redmond's fingernails, let us all remember that whatever "fingernail incident" we may be going through in our own lives, it may end up giving way to a victory for us and for others who are striving for success as well.
As I began to write a mental list of some of the events that made me say to myself, "who on this good earth has let the dogs out?", one event continued to overpower all other events in my mind. I'm sure you already know what I speak of. It is something that has taken us all by surprise, and has, quite frankly, turned our world upside-down. It has changed everything. Things that once appeared to be the color of magenta, have suddenly taken on a periwinkle hue. Instead of knitting, everyone is croshaying. Instead of everyone eating Top Ramen, it's all about Cup of Noodles.
What has caused these dramatic demographic shifts to occur in our society? It was something tragic. And it happened in 2009. Tuesday, February 10, 2009 will now be a chapter heading in most history textbooks, for that was the horrific day Lee Redmond broke her fingernails! Yes, the exact Lee Redmond you are thinking of. The notorious Guinness Book of World Record- holding the much sought after title of "World's Longest Fingernails." Lee's nails measured a total of more than 28 feet long, with the longest nail on her right thumb at 2 feet, 11 inches, according to the Guinness Web site. And apparently those daggers attached to her fingers made it difficult for her to drive, which in turn, may have lead to the car accident she was in. This ksl.com article http://www.ksl.com/?nid=333&sid=5578344 states that no life threatening injuries were sustained. But that depends on one's definition of "life threatening". Her physical injuries may not have been life threatening, but as those incredibly long, yellow-hued swords fell from her fingers, hitting the pavement and shattering into a million pieces, one can only imagine that her heart shattered as well. Everything she lived for was gone.
This unthinkable tragedy has turned not only Lee's life upside down- it has turned the entire world in an uproar. The world's foundation of strength has been shaken over the fall of this pillar, this example of achieving success in the areas of life that really matter. But we all know as one dynasty falls, another arises. In other words, as Big Bird stumbles, Elmo stands tall. As indoor tether ball looses its popularity, the WNBA gains some traction. In this case, imagine the woman who, at the time of Lee Redmond's car accident, had the world's second longest fingernails. What a bitter-sweet experience this was for this second place settler.
This is what I imagine may have happened to this second place holder the day she learned of Lee Redmond's accident:
It is a brisk February morn', as the world's second longest fingernail holder attempts to somehow, with her unbelievably long nails, use her computer mouse and keyboard to see the latest news on ksl.com, when to her surprise, she stumbles across this article http://www.ksl.com/?nid=333&sid=5578344. She begins reading and finds that the current record holder has just been in a car accident and broken her nails. As her heart fills with the excitement that only a world-record holder can experience, she screams a victory scream, as she waves her hands and dagger-nails about, slashing everything within reach, just like a Wolverine scene out of X-Men.
As the debris of paper, pencils, and random odds and ends around her computer station settles from her nail slashing, she begins to feel a bit of guilt realizing just how happy she is that this individual has been in a car accident. It is a battle of emotions as she tries to wrestle with her feelings of knowing she a world-record holder of such a noble endeavor, but at the same time realizing that a fellow nail-grower is on her death-bed (if not physical, perhaps emotional death bed). To calm herself down, she begins to softly scratch her cat, who is sitting on the other side of the room, her fingernails reach for what seem like miles, to her cats back.
It made her feel a little better, as she starred down at those curiously long, unhuman-like spears attached to her fingers. How many times she had been ridiculed by friend and foe alike. How many times in her youth had her mom had set her down and told her it was not sanitary to have nails that were so long she could not live a socially acceptable life. And it was true, she had sacrificed a lot for her nails. It was a life of ridicule and isolation. She thought back to a time five years ago- it was the time she realized her nails would no longer allow her to use her curling iron, the last of her personal hygiene items that she could manage with her nails. She had given up trying to put on make-up years before that, when she realized the deep, lasting scars from cuts she had made with her nails every time she applied her mascara. And years before that she’d chosen longer nails over the ability to use her toothbrush, Q-tips and other generally overlooked modern conveniences.
Looking back, she realized she had given up so much. She had chosen her nails over having any type of a social life. How many times had she walked down the hall at school, and as she raised her hand to wave at a boy, she ended up slashing him in the juggular. She had chosen her nails over the chance of going to any high-school dance. Later on in life she gave up the possibility of ever being employed by anyone other than the circuses and freak-shows that came through town. She had been laughed at her entire life. But who was laughing now? Who held the noble and much sought out title of "lady fingernails"?... She did! And she was going to let everyone know it! But she knew who she must contact first. It was her bed-ridden predecessor. She knew she must visit her and let her know of the years of admiration, envy, and inspiration that she had given her!
So, as we say farewell to 2009, I feel we all concur that this fingernail frenzy will not soon be forgotten. As a new year and decade begin to tenderly grow, not unlike the new set of Lee Redmond's fingernails, let us all remember that whatever "fingernail incident" we may be going through in our own lives, it may end up giving way to a victory for us and for others who are striving for success as well.
Slap Bracelets 101
I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "Hey bud, where on this good earth can I find myself a slap bracelet as sporty as the one you're sportin', sport?"
"Well," I reply, with a hesitant whisper, "Do you think you're ready to take on the responsibilities that come along with a slap bracelet such as this?" I then proceed to take my listener on the exciting journey/narrative that you are about to embark upon. What you are about to experience, ladies and gentlemen, is nothing more or less than the legend, history, tale, and true story based on actual events of the infamous slap bracelet.
Origins of the slap bracelet can be traced back to a small village in Zimbabwe, locals calls the area Lusaka. Researchers have discovered that in or around the year 472 B.C. the Lusakan villagers began a ritual that was preformed by the young, puberty age, males of the tribe. The young men would dance around a large fire pit (a boum-bernner) in a large circle. Each would hold large corn husks in each hand. They would slap the husks around the wrist to the persons adjacent to them, while chanting, "Um Bah, Um Bah, Hoopa Doo Slaug. Arie Jung. Aire Jung, ie fo Ha." Which, interpreted is, "As these thick husks hang from our wrists, so now, from boy to man, will our unsightly body hair will attempt to infest our already unsightly bodies. With the slapping of these husks we make a promise to never allow our nappy body hair to infest our bodies as did our ancestors of old." Some researchers believe that the Oompa Loompas from "Charlie and Chocolate Factory" are singing this same chant in their popular song that has become such a hit with the youngsters.
Slapintologists believe that this slapping of the corn husks has been passed from culture to culture over the centuries, from pow-wow to pow-wow, evolving from corn husks in Africa, to ice-sickles on the polar caps, to won-tons in China, to laderhosen in Germany, to our present day slap bracelet material right here in your own back yard. Or front yard. Which ever part of the yard you're more inclined to find yourself slapping on your slap bracelet.
So, the next time you look down at the brightly colored bracelet you just slapped on your wrist, remember those primitive Lusakan villagers, and their promise to refrain from unsightly body hair, and realize that everytime you hear the sound of a slapping bracelet, that promise has been renewed.
Other Unknown Facts about the Slap Bracelet
-Abraham Lincoln, during his infamous Gettysburg Address was wearing an early 19th century slap bracelet made of a possum pelt and some wheat kernels. During varying intervals of his speech, to add intensity and emotion, he would slap his bracelet against his wrists. Lincoln mentions in his journals that, "It [the slap bracelet] truly did prove to be quite a crowd pleaser..." Some historians believe that John Wilkes Booth was not attempting to shoot and kill Lincoln, but only to shoot Lincoln's wrist, thereby dislodging his slap bracelet, whereby, Booth could snatch Lincoln's slap bracelet and hold it as ransom against the President.-The well beloved character from Star Trek, the next generation, Data, wears a visor over his eyes which allows him to see properly. That visor prop was made out of nothing more or less than a slap bracelet, some Elmer's glue, and sprinkle of glitter.
-Barack Obama has been wearing the same slap anklet on his left ankle since 1987. His wife says it smells of corned beef and sulfur. Barack says it kinda makes him feel like Gary Colmen, and that's why he wears it, to keep himself humble.
-J. R. R. Tolkien's critically acclaimed novel, Lord Of the Rings, initially was titled "Shire of the Slap Bracelets". The plot centered around Frodo and Sam slapping their way, with supernatural slap bracelets, through middle earth to Mordor. There they would find the gatekeeper of all slap bracelets, Sauron, whose body was just one big slap bracelet. During the writing process of "Shire of the Slap Bracelets," Tolkien somehow miss placed one of his most beloved slap bracelets. To write of bracelets reminded him of his long lost slap bracelet that meant so much to him. The pain was too much. He got to a point couldn't write a single line about bracelets without weeping like a child. He ended up altering the entire novel, and it now is what we know today as "Lord of the Rings."
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